I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
