I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
