I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
