he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
