Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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