It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
