And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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