they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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