I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
