I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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