Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
