im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
