you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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