she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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