he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
