I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
