i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
there is puke in my bra ... again
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
