Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she peed on how many people?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
