so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
