therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have tasted many bathrooms
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
