Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
