i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
