worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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