I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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