My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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