We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
