it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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