There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
