I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
