The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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