I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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