Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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