If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
