The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
