i permit you to call me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
