I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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