end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
