Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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