so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
