Who did Billy Mays play for?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
