meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Randomize
