i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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