i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
