Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You're like the curious george of whores
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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