Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
