i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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