i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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