in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
40s are totally the cure
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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