if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
