I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
