it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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