Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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