when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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